For the love of God.

Recently life didn't treat me that well. The person I love the most - my dad, is diagnosed with a stage 4 lung cancer and I am quite devastated for quite a while. All of my prayers to him, and for what I remembered my mum said to me, "if God's will, you'll meet him (dad)." I am way too far from  my family now, I just hate being in this kind of situation and some thought came in reluctantly saying that I wasn't supposed to study here at the first place. 

I keep on holding to the saying, "Sometimes, the brightest light comes from the darkest place". But believe me, even sometimes you want to hold to the thought and trying to be strong enough to go on with this life, you'll find yourself shattered into small dust. But God is no evil to His creatures, He will never tests His creatures beyond the limit that they can afford of bearing it. For all of my life, I haven't encounter with losses that much, but I know if one day when the time comes I should perceive. 

Anyway, I am getting older, and I have to live accordingly from now on. Whatever it is, I am still the person I was before, just you will never guess the difference between you and me. Time to set a tune to my life and I hope I'll be good along the way.  

It's Ourselves Who Sets the Standard.

From the book, 'The daily life of the medieval woman':

In France,

"Women: light skin with no blemish, healthy teeth. Slim but with nicely rounded shoulders and arms (very feminine). Small round breasts, big breasts are ugly. A wide brow, which meant for many women plucking their hair to make their brow look bigger. No ugly hair, thin eyebrows, so use that plier vigorously, A small waist, a long graceful neck (called a swan neck). Young is beautiful, you are at your peak at 16, past that you are sliding into decay." are the standards of beauty in medieval era.

But in this era,

We can decide for ourselves the standard of beauty.

I wonder, who is behind all of this mastermind, setting the standard of beauty for us to define whether something or someone is beautiful. Unfortunately, we do follow the standard, and yet between the historical era and present, I personally think that the standard of beauty evolved vastly.

What if,

The one person that had the first thought of the definition of beauty had set the standard contradictorily different from what we believe today. It might be that the standard of beauty for a women would be overweighted, dark skinned, bald and etc. Would we survive in the world we are living today?

If only that is a reality, it would be funny to see a skinny, tall and light-skinned woman as an ugly woman.

It's all mind control. They make us believe on an idea. There is no such thing to divide the standard of beauty but we are all being controlled by the idea.

A Nerd Who We Hate to Love.

I always think Facebook as a random guy in a bar, trying to be the matchmaker for others who doesn't even know each other in the bar. Sounds silly, but I can imagine the face of 'Facebook' who is a bit nerdy, always comes out with lame jokes and wandering all over the bar with a bottle of beer in his hand pretending to be tipsy.

Facebook: "Dude, I'm gonna suggest you that girl over there, you might want to know her."

Anonymous: "Okay. Gonna give a try..."

So the anon 'clicks' on "Add as Friend" button on that girl.

But suddenly before the anon about to be able to make a first move,

Facebook: "Oh wait, do you really know her? If you don't know her then you'll be blocked from making friends in the future."

Oh, come on...

That is not funny at all, Facebook. Fuck you!

The alien race among us

I haven't write anything in a long while, as you can see. It's different now. I don't even know how to write anymore. Something might be wrong somewhere in some part of my brain. Maybe my life is not that complicated so I just missed some catchy part of dramas and agony. I keep it simple and I like it simple. Even with the girls.

Well, this might be offensive to say but women is the most complicated creature that I ever encountered in my life. Let's start with the nearest person in my life - my mother. When I was a kid I used to face all the complication dealing with my mom. When it is her O-K time then world was never a hell. But when it came to the 'women-time' you can guess what happen. 

I don't have a girlfriend. Yeah girls, don't smile like that. But in my case, I like to be around girls. I like the comfort and tenderness being around them. That - sounds a bit wrong. They have something that I don't have, physically and mentally. So the contradictions makes everything about life much more interesting. Sounds good, right? But you know, girls - they are way more complicated than what we ever imagine.

First, the importance of keeping their so called 'heart and feelings' under control. It's an extra maintenance, the one that is harder to maintain compared to a car. Their temperature rise without any initial red indicator on your dashboard. Then just like a car, it won't move if you don't fill the gas. Girls also live based on the same concept. Fill them and they'll be happy. Oh, please keep out the dirty mind guys.

What I am trying to say is you need to 'feed' them correctly. As in a date, do take caution of her demands or it will only turn to be a no fun night. The good example would be her meals. The girlfriend or a special female friend or maybe just some random girl you meet at the traffic light can be a bit picky in finding the right happy-food. Situations like, "I want a Tuitti Fruitti", or "I want IKEA meatballs" always happen anytime and anywhere. That is not the worst case scenario yet but potentially kills a guy's mood.

I don't want to use a word 'snobbish' because that is kind of harsh in my opinion. So I always keep it in mind when I have that kind of opinion about the opposite sex. They are a good at the sulky-puppy face and the most dangerous weapon of all is the reverse psychology mind destroyer. How do I handle that? I just smile and pretend that I don't realize about that - I'm good. Even if I have to drive 15 miles just to get what she wants to eat, I'll drive her there. But 15 miles is far enough for the unexpected to happen, actually.

When you driving on the road, there comes a SMS and you try your best to read and reply them. Even when you are driving and you are using Blackberry or iPhone. You are receiving 1 million dollar by replying the SMS. Then comes a reply, unfortunately not in the phone but from a creature with boobs next to the driver's seat sounding like this, "So all of this time you said you can't reply my text because you're driving?". Okay, at that time when you realize you got another 10 miles to go, you will start crying deeply inside your heart. It is like one episode of CSI but only takes a few minutes for the whole story to end.

For me, the girl that goes out with me portray who I am. The way she dresses and her personality reflect what kind of person I am - in choosing my partner and my type of girls that I like. As example; I go out with one emo girl with highlighted hair, dark lips and thick eyeliner - that is like I am walking into a narrow dark alley of a dead end. But, some girls that I go out with, you know, when I say, "Please don't wear this and that when you go out with me." Rather than expecting a short answer of 'yes', it comes out to be, "So you don't like me? You want me to be another girl? This is me if you don't like it just go find another girl!". A complete full sentences answer that fits all the answering scheme. Then you become the most defenseless human with a defending word 'no' and immediately cuts off by her continuation of the perfect answering scheme.

This part is a 'win-win' situation. For a movie day out, it can be a good movie that you like or else, it is going to be the movie only her alone and the same species understand. But what else a good guy would do when she tries to make you bring her to the cinema by promising this and that and giving you kisses for free of charge. I am one of the guy that does not fall for the devilish old tricks but yet, without hesitation I will fulfill her demands and try my best not to let her see me sleeping in the movie. When the crowds laugh, then I will join them laugh instantly, look at her and whisper to her ears, "That's fuunnnyyy!". That is defined as an honorable selfless action.

That's all for now. Later, xo.

Klasik

The plaza where people goes.

This is the city of life. There are thousands of streets of probability in it. I am one of the people who are triggered to discover the street of probability in the city of life. Today here I am again, in the plaza in the middle of the city, where the fountain of tears is located. I remember, every single day I had in my life which I spent to discover the street of probability, in order to find new chances and future. I never had a luck. Every single path I've taken so far, leads to a dead end. It was all dark by the end of the road. I turned back to the fountain of tears.

I sat, for a long time next to the fountain of tears. I saw some other travelers of life, just like me, sitting next to the fountain, doing the same thing that I did. We drank the water from the fountain of tears. Took a small portion of it with both of our palms, and replenishing ourselves with the tears. Then we wiped it off our faces. After a deep breathe, the traveler putted on the shoes of not looking back, and started to walk again. I did the same. That's what I recall from my memory of what happened in the past.

Today is not excepted. I've wiped all the tears that I took from the fountain, and start to put on the shoes of not looking back. I need to find a new path now, a new street of probability to discover. I don't want in the older days of mine, I am still in the plaza sitting next to the fountain of tears. Regretting all the pathway I've taken and drinking water from the fountain of tears. I don't want that to happen. I have to work hard to find a good path.

There is no divine road, for what I heard from other travelers. Like they said, 'road to hell is paved with good intentions'. So for what I've chosen so far were the road leads to hell, I guess. But who knows, road to heaven might be full with good intentions too. Just be who you are, respect other travelers, be humble, and be strong in stepping forward into any streets of probability. No matter if the streets are full with good or bad intentions, by bringing all the pack of good values in the bag with you, you'll be fine.